Friday After

I need to take you back to Friday after the Big Day.  Friday - tough day.  I could barely talk to anyone with out tearing up.  I would cry off and on, better now, but not done with it by any means.  I was pretty sore and headachy.  The drive and testing I guess.  Maybe the talk with the family or the “this is it “ moment where everything was on the table. 

My head was exploding with contradicting information.  Information overload!  I felt like someone had been smacking me upside the head.  

I tend to overanalyze everything and try to get a gut check on it if my brain can’t logically find the truth.  The amount of information/misinformation, legitimate studies, anecdotal testimonies -my gosh!  Those of you in similar situations that have sought out answers and truths understand.  

I was so confused, dizzy with information, a lyric in a song by Genesis came to mind. 

 “and I’m hovering like a fly, waiting for the windshield on the freeway”  That’s exactly how I felt. 

One would like to make informed decisions regarding ones life .  I know the camp promoting all the alternative products and protocols that will cure cancer and tell you that the traditional chemo approach will only kill you.  I have been in that camp for many years, even before I became an alternative health care practitioner.  The chemotherapy approach has never been congruent with my health paradigm.  Yet it can work and has had success.  There are as many miraculous stories involving people going through chemotherapy as with any of the natural products.  

The problem with both camps and the data they throw out is that of individuality.  Something I have had a lot of training in through my functional medicine courses and the many years of testing patients and perusing medical literature.   So tell me, how do you take a person who has a unique genetic biochemical individuality with different upbringing, environmental exposures, lifestyle, diet, mental/emotional makeup and belief systems and try to relate the data from one person to the next?  You Can’t!  You might get a bell curve lumping certain criteria together that you can point to.  That is how most data on nutrition, diet and lifestyle can be interpretated anyway anyone chooses.

I won’t even go into the problems related to assessing anecdotal and testimonial information.  

So where does that leave me as I hover on the freeway?

My decision has kind of been made for me.  I am out of time and will put my full energy and will power into chemotherapy.  I have some alternative tricks up my sleeve  before, during and after which I will share at a later date.  My first priority is to get stabilized.   My first appointment with the local oncologist is this Wednesday.

On another note, many people that communicate with me offer advice on their own or another persons case.  I know that your heart and concern is in the right place and I like to hear of the successes out there.  However, and not to offend any good intentioned well wishers, I would really rather not hear, that if I did what Aunt Mabel did, and drank a liter carrot juice (substitute product of choice) daily for a month, I would be cured.  It tends to frustrate me, not help me. Thanks for your consideration.

Is all this too harsh and direct?  As I read it over, it seems a bit abrupt.  Well I guess there will be good days and bad days.

Thanks for your time.

Love,

Brian